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Saturday, March 31, 2012

Cruise Ships


I have nothing against cruise ships really - except for the fact that I never want to go near one. Other people seem drawn to these massive boats for reasons that I can't quite understand. The idea is that you can have an actual vacation on one of these traveling resort hotels in exchange for making yourself a voluntary prisoner to the buffet table, the slot machine and the shuffleboard tournament, with the occasional "shopping binge" on the mainland if that "floats your boat." Theoretically it all makes sense, I guess, except that a few of us suffer from a condition known as CLAUSTROPHOBIA so that spending time on a boat that is actively not trying to reach a final destination is sort of akin to being on a crowded elevator with the same lack of ambition. But fortunately for us (fellow claustrophobics), at this particular stage of human history,  in the year 2012, cruise ships have become, oddly emblematic of the places where lightning is most likely to strike. Just say the words "cruise ship" and you are virtually inviting unforeseen mishaps, disasters, epidemics, and negligent, cowardly handlers of bad situations to come your way. Not sure what any of this means, but there you have it. I'm filing away cruise ships as my weird symbol of the year .... #314.... following closely by etch-a-sketch toys and sweater vests.

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